Jun 17, 2017

Orange is the New Black Season 5 Beefcake and Nudity

The fifth season of Orange is the New Black (2017) occurs during a riot at Litchfield Prison in the aftermath of Poussey's death.

1. C.O. Humphrey (Michael Torpey), who has been brutally victimizing the inmates, is shot in the thigh.  We get a close up of his penis as Sophia tries to save his life, then some shirtless shots later, when he's in the infirmary.

2. The other guards are captured, forced to strip, and "searched" in front of the inmates. They stay in their underwear through the remainder of the season.

3.  The guy in the left, in the purple underwear, is not one of the guards.  He's Josh (John Palladino), a public relations guy for the prison company, who was trapped during the riot.

4. The captured guards are forced to perform in "Litchfield Idol."  CO Stratman (Evan Hall) performs a strip number, ending up naked except for a sock over his penis.

5. Meanwhile, in Piscatella's back story, his inmate boyfriend Driscoll (Charlie Barnett) is brutally beaten by the other inmates.  Rear nudity.

Charlie Barnett has played gay characters before.  You can see him having sex on Tales of West Hollywood.

6. Piscatella gets revenge by tying the instigator, Rosado (Marcos Palma),  to the showers, turning on the hot water, and letting him get scalded to death.  Rear nudity.

If the situation detracts from your appreciation of the beefcake, just remember that these guys aren't really being humiliated, assaulted, and tortured.  They're acting.

The penis and other nude shots are on Tales of West Hollywood

Jun 16, 2017

My Nephew Fixes Me Up with His Central Asian Friend

Indianapolis, June 2017

Every year my father celebrated his birthday by hosting a barbecue for his family and friends, held on the Saturday afternoon closest to June 6th.  I always tried to schedule my summer visit to Rock Island  (up to 1995) or Indianapolis (after 1995) to coincide with it.

Dad died last year, so I assumed that the barbecues were over, until I got a Facebook Instant Message from my sister's son, Joseph, age 27, a doctoral student in Central Asian Languages, at Indiana University.

"I'm continuing Grandpa's tradition of Memorial Day Barbecues at my house.  Can you make it?  I want to talk to you about something."

"Sure, no problem," I responded, curious.  What could he want to talk about.  Maybe he wanted to come out!

  Even though Joseph married a girl named Jan five years ago, I still think he's gay, or at least bi.

He's flamboyant and theatrical, swishing and limp-wristed, with that nasal "gay accent" voice.  He wears bright pastel shirts and tight bulging jeans and plastic bracelets.

Yes, I got a sausage sighting: average, cut.

He belongs to an LGBT news group on Facebook, and he drove his Dad's vintage 1969 car in the Indianapolis Gay Pride Parade.

Definitely coming out.  Or -- had he turned fundamentalist, and wanted to quote Leviticus at me?

Better skip the staying-over invitation.  "Thanks, but I already accepted an invitation to stay with Tyler."  My ex-boyfriend Fred's son.

And I brought along David from San Francisco for moral support -- an ex-Baptist minister with a master's degree in Classics, an expert on the Biblical passages used to promote homophobia.

We arrived on Wednesday and saw my mother and my sister and brother-in-law, but not Joseph, not until Saturday afternoon, the barbecue: hot dogs and hamburgers grilled in the back yard of Joseph's 100-year old house on the South Side of Indianapolis.

How did they afford it, when he was a graduate teaching assistant, and she worked in a museum?

We said hello to Joseph and gave him a gift, then pushed our way through the crowd, saying hello, getting introduced.  I counted over 20 adults, plus kids: Joseph and Jan's parents and grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins.  All relatives, all heterosexual as far as I could tell -- with one exception.

A young guy on the far side of the yard, talking to Jan. Shorter than me, dark-skinned, square head with heavy eyebrows and a big smile, a v-shaped torso, a hard smooth chest with prominent nipples, a little belly, and heavy, square workman's hands.

"Dibs," I whispered to David, and walked over to introduce myself and cruise him.  Heavily.

The full post, with nude photos and sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

10 Shirtless Pictures of Jacob Sartorius, Sort Of

Asa Butterfield was fun, so let's try another.  I did a google search on Jacob Sartorius -- no idea who he is, or what he looks like, or why he's named after a leg muscle.

 Here are the results.  Which are really him, and which are Google going haywire?

1. Looks like a selfie.  In the tub, but wearing clothes.

2. Another tub pic, but bigger hair.

3.  Even bigger hair, and a tan.

4. Two for the price of one.

5. A little muscle.  Didn't this guy play a werewolf?

6. Yes, kid, you  have fine biceps, plus a devilish frown.

7. Looks like Zac Efron, who pops up in every search.

8. Jacob the weight lifter.

9. A trio of weird hair.

10. That's one big emoji.

Jun 15, 2017

12 Shirtless Pictures of Asa Butterfield, Sort Of

Ok, people keep telling me that #6 on the list of "Pre-Teen Teen Idols" is not Asa Butterfield.

I've never heard of that person, and never seen him before, that I know of.  It's hard to distinguish between people that you don't know, particularly when they're actors who keep changing their look. .

My only clues are that he's in his early 20s and has blue eyes.

So I just googled "Asa Butterfield shirtless," in quotation marks, and downloaded whatever came up.  If you know who he is, you can figure out which are really of him.  Otherwise, you can enjoy this group of photos of hunky guys.

1. Beach scene.  He might have blue eyes -- hard to tell.

2. Wearing glasses, and talking to monkeys.

3.  Looks like brown eyes, but maybe he's wearing contact lenses.

4. The guy in the middle is Moises Arias.  Maybe Asa is on the right or left.

5. Eyes can't get much bluer than this.

6. Crew cut.

7.  Those eyes are brown.

8. Looks like a homoerotic scene in whatever movie this was.

9. That's got to be Daniel Radcliffe.

10. Nice loincloth.

11.  This guy looks South Asian.

12. Asa Snowbird

See also: Pre-Teen Teen Idols

Bill Bixby: My Favorite Martian

Bill Bixby played swinging 1960s bachelors with glamorous jobs, cool pads, boss threads, and a never-ending supply of babes -- until one day something happened that changed everything, made his heteronormative hedonism seem trite and crude.

In My Favorite Martian (1963-66), his Tim O'Hara rescued a Martian scientist from a crashed spaceship, and had to keep him hidden from the world.  But what started out as a standard "keep your unique talent hidden" sitcom like I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched quickly developed into something more.  Tim and his so-called "Uncle Martin" share a home and a life and generally ignore the attentions of female suitors.  And though they rarely if ever disrobe on camera, they surround themselves with cute and muscular men:

In The Courtship of Eddie's Father (1969-72), his Tom Corbett is widowed, left with a young son (Brandon Cruz), like the Dads on a dozen other 1960s sitcoms.  But what started out as a standard "fix up Dad with a girl" plot quickly developed into something more.  Tom isn't really interested in marrying again.  Instead, he bonds with a coworker, magazine photographer Norman (James Komack).

 In an iconic photo, the three share the same  banana split, quite an unconventional family for the 1970s:

Bill went on to buddy-bond with Lou Ferrigno off-camera, while they were both starring in The Incredible Hulk.

Jun 14, 2017

The 10 Best Gay Neighborhoods in America

During the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, the first thing you did after "figuring it out" was pack all of your stuff and move to a gay neighborhood, where you could be free from stares and jeers and shrieks of "God hates you!"

Once you arrived, you never left, except when absolutely necessary, for work or required Christmas visits "back home."   You wouldn't accept a date with anyone who lived outside, in the Straight World.  On vacation, you visited other gay neighborhoods.

Many gay kids today don't grow up dreaming of a safe haven.  Being gay is no big deal at school.  Their families and straight friends are perfectly accepting.  Why not stay where you are?

But the gay neighborhoods are still there, waiting for those of us who grew up in homophobic small towns, who are tired of the incessant heterosexism of the Straight World, or who want to see what it was like to have a home.

I've lived in four gay neighborhoods in the U.S. and Canada,  and visited about a dozen others.  Here are the biggest and best:

The Bravest:
The Montrose, Houston (top photo).
Today Houston has gay rights ordinances and a gay mayor, but when I lived in Texas in 1984, there were sodomy laws and rednecks with shotguns, and police cadets were warned about the "homosexual deviants" lurking at the corner of Montrose and Westheimer.  Just walking down the street was perilous.  In spite of the dangers, gay people carved out a newspaper, a bookstore, political action groups, and lots of fun cowboy bars.

The Most Political:
Dupont Circle, Washington, DC. 
A bit cramped, hard to find parking, but an architectural gem, and only a mile from the White House.

Who would expect a thriving Community Center a stone's throw from government homophobes?  Dupont Circle is home to over 50 gay organizations, everything from the Human Rights Campaign to the LGBT Fallen Heroes Fund.

The Most Literary:
Washington Square West, Philadelphia
Philadelphia has some of the world's best gay clubs and restaurants, and it's the site of the first Gay Rights demonstration in history. But its biggest claim to fame is Giovanni's Room, the second oldest and largest gay bookstore in the world, founded back in 1972, when there were almost no gay-positive books in existence, and certainly none available in mainstream bookstores.

It closed recently, bankrupted by online giants, and re-opened as a thrift store with proceeds going to AIDS services.

The Friendliest:
Wilton Manors, Fort Lauderdale.  
This was home for 4 years.  There were great beaches, gyms, clubs, and restaurants, but what I remember most was the great sense of camaraderie.

Maybe it was because many residents were older, and had lived through the horrors of the pre-Stonewall police state.

Maybe it was because, once you left Wilton Manors, you ran into some of the most horrifying Bible-thumping redneck cities in the country.

But in Wilton Manors, everyone was welcome; everyone knew your name.

The Brawniest:
Hawthorne, Portland (Oregon).  
I thought Texas had the biggest of everything, but when I visited Portland in 1995, I found a bookstore that covered an entire city block, a bath house with room for 3000 patrons, and a bar crowded with the biggest, most buffed men this side of Muscle Beach.

More after the break.

David Hooks Up with 5,000 Guys

Plains, June 2017

David is the only guy I know who still uses the telephone instead of texting -- a good way to put you on the spot!

"I've got a couple of weeks off in June," he said.  "I'd like to fly out and visit you on the Plains."

Gulp!  David from San Francisco, on the Plains?  I had enough trouble trying to entertain Yuri, when he visited a couple of years ago!  And David has a requirement that Yuri doesn't....

"Sure, that would be great," I said, trying not to hesitate.   "It's been three years since we saw each other last, and I think it's your turn to visit me.  Except..."

"Except what?"

Except cruising opportunities here on the Plains are limited, especially during the summer, when all of the students have gone home.  Especially when you're 64 years old.  I might not be able to provide enough hookups to meet your quota!

David did't come out until age 43, and vowed to "make up for lost time" by hooking up with at least five guys per day. Five turned out to be too time-consuming, so he reduced his goal to one per day.  But only someone new, that he hadn't been with before, counted, and he couldn't go to a bath house or sex party and get a whole week's worth done at once. It had to be one per day.

And, in gay communities, it's polite for you to provide the sexual entertainment for your guests.

"Except that I'm scheduled to be visiting my family in Indianapolis the weekend of June 6th," I explain.  "Maybe you could fly in there.  Believe me, there are a lot more fun things to do [more places to cruise] in Indianapolis than in a small town on the Plains!"

"Sure, I'd be happy to meet your family.  And cruise Hoosier farmboys."


I arrive in Indianapolis at noon, visit my mother, and then drive to the airport to pick up David at 3:30.  He's 64 years old, a bald, buffed Daddy with craggy features, a moustache, a tight hairy chest, thick biceps, and extra-thick beneath the belt gifts.  Since I saw him last, he got a pair of nipple rings, which, he said, played havoc with the metal detector at airport security.

We go to dinner with Tyler, my ex-boyfriend Fred's 34-year old "son," who arranges a "West Hollywood Party" for us with about the same guests that were at his New Year's Eve Party: his ex-boyfriends, Jesse and Sandoval (both bears in their 40s), and Mike, the 23-year old waiter in the crazy retro restaurant, plus Mike's boyfriend, a soft, passive, dark-skinned student from Bangladesh.

The full story, with explicit descriptions of sexual acts and 8 nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Jun 13, 2017

Pre-Teen Teen Idols

When I was a kid, teen idols were young adults.

David Cassidy released his first single when he was 20 years old.

John Travolta first played Vinnie Barbarino in Welcome Back, Kotter at age 21.

Child labor regulations make it difficult to work with juveniles under the age of 18, and besides, if you want a performer to appeal to adults as well as kids, it helps if they're not jail bait.

But they're getting younger and younger.  According to Teen Idols 4 You, the top 20 idols today are:

1. Jacob Sartorius (left), social media singer, age 14

2. Jace Norman of Henry Danger, age 17.  And he's been in the show for three years.

3. Johnny Orlando, musician, age 14

4. Mace Coronel of the Nickelodeon teencom Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn, age 13

5. Matty B, singer, age 14.

6. Asa Butterfield (left), movie actor, age 20.  First became a teen idol in 2008, when he was nine.  There are more shirtless pictures of Asa Butterfield, or someone like him, here.

7. Asher Angel (left) of Andi Mack, age 14.

8.Hunter Payton, age not given, but probably around 10.

I blame the fragmentation of mass media, with programming only for kids, tweens, and teens, so the actors and musicians don't have to worry about appealing to an adult audience.

9. Aiden Gallagher (left) of Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn, age 13

10. Justin Bieber, age 23.  Rather long-in-the-tooth, as modern teen idols go.

And social media, which allows performers to become famous without "paying their dues" through years of low-paying jobs.  Instead, they burst onto the scene with one or two songs or some youtube clips.

More after the break.

I Arrange Some Muscle Daddy Hookups for Yuri

I used to go to Europe at least once a year, sometimes twice.  But the vagaries of teaching, conferences, and job interviews, plus the extreme annoyance of flying today, have dampened my ardor a bit, and I haven't been across the ocean much.

But not to worry, Europe comes to me.  Jaan from Estonia.  Eli from Amsterdam  Doc from Vienna, And Yuri several times.

I was anxious to see Yuri again, but also a little self-conscious.

He lived in London, one of the biggest, most exciting cities in the world. I lived in a small town in the Midwest.

He lived in the heart of Soho, London's gay neighborhood, with a hundred gay bars, restaurants, gyms, bath houses, bookstores, and retail outlets a stone's throw away.  I lived a hundred miles from the nearest gay bar.

What could I possibly do to entertain him?

I tentatively made a list of local sights.  We had a a scenic waterfall, a running path that led through the countryside, a downtown sculpture walk, and a historic mansion.


"What would you like to do while you're here?" I asked in a hesitant email.

" I want to go to the Severe Weather Research Center in Boulder.  That is not far, is it?"

I looked it up.  "Ok, a nine hour drive.  Anything local that you'd like to see?"

"Maybe the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota.  And the Little House on the Prairie -- I watched it when I was a kid.  And hot Prairie farmboys, for sure."

Gulp.  He wanted a hookup!

When I visited Yuri in London, he and Michael, his partner at the time, fixed me up with a guy who was exactly my type.

Yuri's type was at least 10 years older, muscular, preferably a bodybuilder, with a Mortadella+++ beneath the belt.

He was now 40 years old.  Where was I going to find a 50+ year old with those qualities?

Or any 50 year old?  They were vanishingly rare on the Prairie.  Most middle-aged guys had long since packed up and moved to the big city, leaving only a few who were in monogamous relationships, a few straight guys on the down-low, and twinks.

I could get him a room full of twinks, but that wouldn't do the job.  So I did research, hung out on internet websites, called in favors, and planned a week's worth of Muscle Daddies to convince Yuri that the Plains weren't as desolate as everyone thought.

Yuri arrived at 9:30 pm.  I picked him up at the airport and took him out to dinner at Minerva's, the best restaurant in town, and then home to share my bed overnight.

Yuri was in his first months of shifting from Regular Guy to Daddy.  He was bearded, a little craggy, a little gray, but still gym-toned, and still effervescent with good humor,

"It's a nice town," he said diplomatically.  "Quiet.  Not busy with cars like London."

The 10:30 service at the Metropolitan Community Church, followed by lunch with an older gay couple, Harold in his 70s and Wayne in his 50s.  Neither was particularly muscular, but I saw Wayne at the gym, and knew that he had a Bratwust beneath the belt.

The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.