May 6, 2017

13 Things You Should Know about Doug Savant, 3 About his Penis

1. He was in Teen Wolf, with Michael J. Fox, but if you blink, you miss him.

2. He was very popular in West Hollywood in the 1990s for playing Matt Fielding, the gay guy on the evening soap Melrose Place (1992-97).  Gay characters were very rare on tv in those days.

3. While other characters were immersed in scandals and illicit affairs, Matt was a saint, sitting around saying "That's not a good idea."

4. He was rarely allowed to date, and never allowed any physical interaction -- no hugging, no kissing.  An on-screen kiss at the end of Season Two was censored, in spite of his protests.

5. Doug kept his heterosexuality closeted during Melrose Place, playing it coy when someone asked if he was gay in real life.  The network pressured him to come out as straight, worried that people would reject a gay actor.  But he thought it would be disrespectful to the gay community to proclaim "I'm not gay!"

6. He was sought-after for gay events and AIDS charities.  Some gay people found this condescending, but this was the era of the "helpful heterosexual."

7. He's been married to women twice, and has three daughters and a son.

8. Before Melrose Place, he played a lot of sleazoids.  In Masquerade (1988) and Paint it Black (1989)he played serial killers.  

9. But afterwards, he was typecast.  Not as gay -- as a squeaky-clean nice guy.  His most famous recent role is on Desperate Housewives (2006-2012), as Tom Scavo, nice guy surrounded by sleazoids.

10. Charlie Carver, who played Doug's son on Desperate Housewives, is gay.

And three facts about Doug's penis:

11.  He has appeared in his underwear on camera many times, but he has never done a frontal nude scene.

12. A character on Desperate Housewives expressed awe over its size

13. By all accounts, huge, uncut.

May 5, 2017

Fantasy Kidnapping

In many BDSM scenes, the bottom pretends to be unwilling, a prisoner of war being interrogated, a spy being tortured, a hitchhiker who was abducted.

A pretense of force is a powerful way to give up control if you are a bottom, and to exert control if you are a top.  And in fact, in a hard scene, the bottom is testing himself, seeing how much pain and humiliation he can endure, so on some level he is "unwilling."

The website breederf*.com, plays on the fantasy of force by portraying straight guys being kidnapped or tricked into a scene by one or two tops.  They are tied up.  They get some light BDSM.  They are humiliated.  And they are forced into sex.

The tops, usually Adrian and David, are rather craggy, sleazy, and unattractive, which adds to the realism of the scene.  They look like the sort of perv who really might kidnap straight guys -- although they do have the enormous beneath-the-belt gifts  and incredible staying power one expects from a porn performer.

The full post, with nude photos, sexual situations, and the actual name of the website, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

Chad Everett

Chad Everett, who died in 2012, had a nicely toned physique and amazingly tight pants that became familiar to Boomer kids through beefcake appearances on many 1960s Westerns and swinging detective tv series: 77 Sunset Strip, Hawaiian Eye, Surfside 6, Maverick, Branded.  

He also starred in movies such as Made in Paris (1966) with 1960s standby Ann-Margret; Johnny Tiger (1966), as a Seminole boy trying to survive in the Anglo world;  and The Impossible Years  (1968), as the anti-establishment boy who dates the daughter of a stuffy college professor.

But he became most famous as a new Ben Casey, the young, idealistic Dr. Joe Gannon, who clashed with establishment Dr. Paul Lochner (James Daly) on Medical Center (1969-76).  No beefcake, but his square jaw and blue eyes, and tight pants caused him to become the first crush of lots of Boomer kids, and apparently there were several gay-themed episodes: a gay research scientists is blackmailed (1970); a "sexually confused" girl is assured that she's not a lesbian (1973); a transsexual doctor (played by Robert Reed) decides to have sex reassignment surgery (1975).

Chad was quite conservative in real life.  He caused a bit of a scandal in 1972, during a talk show appearance, by referring to his wife as "his property." The host laughed, but Lily Tomlin became so outraged that she stormed off the set.

But he still managed to play a gay cop on a 2006 episode of Cold Case, about re-investigation of old murder cases.  In 1968, Jimmy Bruno (Brian Hallisay) was seeing his partner, Coop Cooper (Shane Johnson).  Then Coop was shot and killed in a gay-bashing incident that the precinct covered up. 40 years later, Jimmy Bruno (Chad Everett) still remembers his lost love.

May 4, 2017

Beefcake and Bulges in Surfing Art

I expected paintings about surfing to highlight buffed male bodies and bulging swimsuits, but they tend to emphasize gigantic waves and crashing surf, making the bodies as small and insignificant as in traditional Chinese paintings.  Or they emphasize the surfing babes.  I only found a few that showed some beefcake.

Nathan Miller shows a buffed Polynesian in blue shorts against a stylized surf.

Bill Ogden shows a muscular, long-haired blond guy fighting a giant wave.

Michael Cass gives us a frontal view of the red swim trunks, with an almost photographic precision.

Vividly colored but stylized, Douglas Simonson's surfer polishes his board in rainbow colors.

Georgi Dmitrov offers a realistic surfer, but he's surfing on a shark.

More after the break.

The Beefcake Explosion of Nolan Gould

If you haven't watched the doddering Modern Family for awhile, prepare yourself for a shock.  Remember this kid?

He's grown a bit.

Back in September 2009, when Modern Family premiered, I was living in Upstate New York and just starting to date Troy. And Nolan Gould, who played Luke, youngest grandson in the extended Pritchett family, was just shy of  11 years old (born on October 28, 1998).

I watched regularly for a few years, although I disliked the gay couple, Luke's uncles Mitchell and Cam (aka Swishy and Swishier).

There wasn't even any beefcake to distract from the misogyny, casual racism, and minstrel-show antics of Swishy and Swishier.

I noticed that Luke was becoming stupider and stupider -- every sitcom needs a dumb bunny -- in spite of the brilliance of Nolan himself, who is a member of MENSA and graduated from high school at age 13.  

But I never suspected that he was going to turn into the hunk of the show.

In "The Feud," which aired on February 26, 2014, and was probably filmed a few months before, Luke goes out for wrestling.  Nolan is 15 years old but looks only barely pubescent, with long, stringy muscles.

In "Australia," which aired on April 23rd, 2014, Luke goes surfing.  He seems to have more of a chest, but not much more.

I don't know what episode this is, but it was uploaded to the Teen Idols gallery on June 15, 2015.  A little tighter in the chest and shoulders, but Nolan still looks more like a boy than a man.

Here Nolan is on vacation in the Bahamas in April 2016, just after wrapping up the seventh season of Modern Family.  He's 17 years old, getting some nice abs.

But look what happened in "The Alliance," which aired on November 30th, 2016: An aging cougar puts the moves on the oblivious, barely-legal Luke.  Grandpa Jay rushes to the rescue.  Luke answers the door shirtless.

Nolan was just over 18.

Impressive biceps and quads, some chest definition, the beginning of a six-pack in the abs.

I can't wait to see how much he bulks up at ages 19, 20, 21...

Gilad's Body in Motion

During the 1980s, this was one of the most famous physiques -- and bulges -- in the world.

It belongs to Gilad Janklowicz (try telling your Dad that you want a poster of Gilad Janklowicz for your birthday).

Gilad was born on a Kibbutz in Israel in 1954.  His parents, who escaped from Nazi Germany via China, were both sports enthusiasts.  He ran track and field in high school, and became a decathlete and fitness instructor in the Israeli army.  After an Achilles heel injury ruined his Olympic aspirations, he moved to Los Angeles, enrolled in the UCLA Film School, and became a personal trainer.

Here he holds hands with a young Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In 1981 he moved to Hawaii where in 1983 he launched Bodies in Motion, a half-hour aerobics program in which he demonstrated routines to a pounding back beat while male and female models worked out behind him.

His sister Ada was co-host for a year before breaking out with her own show, Basic Training.

Over the years, Bodies in Motion ran on ESPN, Fox Sports, the Health Channel, and Fit TV.  It is still running several times a day on TBS, and in 80 countries around the world.

Gilad also hosts Total Body Sculpt  (2005-), publishes fitness articles, and sells a wide range of merchandise.

He's never married or been connected any of the models he works with, so he's probably gay.

But I'm more impressed by his exceptional physique and commitment to fitness past age 60.  One of his clients lived to the age of 103, and still walked the 23 flights up to his apartment every day.

May 3, 2017

May 1979: One of My Little Brother's Friends is Gay

Rock Island, May 1979

One day in May 1979, near the end of my freshman year in college, my younger brother Kenny said "You've been a homo for almost a year now."

I glared at him.  He was the only one I told, and we had an unspoken rule to never mention it.  "The word is gay, and longer than that.  I just figured it out last year."

"So, after a whole year, why don't you know...a friend yet?  You're pretty ugly, and you smell pretty bad, but there must be some homo out there willing to give you a break. "

"I'm sure they'd be falling all over each other to get my phone number, if I could actually meet someone.  But I'm too young to get into the bars, there aren't any gay groups in town, and I can't just walk up and ask.  So far I've met just two gay guys in town, and neither of them want to date me."

Kenny grinned triumphantly.  "Well, I've got good news for you.  You've known a fairy all this time without knowing it."


"One of my friends is that way.  He just told me -- I'm so cool, everybody is ok with telling me their deepest, darkest secrets.  So, want me to set you up on a date?"

"I don't know...a high school boy? That's a little young."  Kenny would be sixteen in June, so his friends were mostly fifteen and sixteen-year olds --- an insurmountable age gap.  Not for hooking up, maybe -- I slept with Mary's sixteen-year old brother last March, during spring break -- but dating?  What would my friends think?

 Oh, right...they would never know.

"Hey, it's not like you have a whole lot of choices.  And..."  He leaned in conspiratorily.  "I'll tell you his darkest secret -- he thinks you're hot.  I know -- it sounded crazy to me, too, but that's what he said.  So..."

"Well, who is it?  What does he look like?" I had met most of Kenny's friends over the years.

"That would be telling," Kenny said with a smirk.

"Well, how do I know if he's my type or not?"

"Oh, you have a type?  Well...I should tell you, he's not very fruity."

"That's ok, I don't like femme guys."

"Yeah, I figured you like to be the girl."

"We're both guys, dummy!  So...what else can you tell me about him?  Is he cute?"

He shrugged.  "How should I know what turns a gay dude on?  But the girls kind of like him, I guess.  But here's the thing   -- he doesn't know you're gay, so you can't know he is, either.  I'll invite five guys over, and you'll have to take it from there, dig?"

"Ok....."  I said doubtfully.

The next Friday night, Kenny invited five guys and two girls over for a pizza party.  We took over the basement rec room, which had a foosball game, a pingpong table, a tv set, and two couches.

Which was gay?  Which thought I was hot?

The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

May 2, 2017

My Hookup with the Bodybuilder Goes Wrong

Plains, April 2017

I've always found Sunday nights boring, depressing, and generally downers. There's nothing going on, nothing to do but watch Fox animation, and now I don't even have live tv anymore.  So I've gotten into the habit of getting a hookup. Every afternoon I go on Grindr, Scruff, and Hornet for a couple of hours to try to arrange something for the evening.

I'm a twink magnet, so usually it's just a matter of deciding between offers.

But classes ended on Thursday.  A long procession of cars have been coming into the city all weekend, as parents come to retrieve their kids.  Apartments and dorms are packed up and vacant.

Last night there was a toga party next door, and this morning they all scattered, too.

Sunday afternoon I went on Grindr, as usual, and found nothing within a five mile radius but guys in their 30s and 40s, who always ignore me

What the heck.  I started the hookup interviews.

[1. is censored]

2. Lonny.  In his 40s, bearded, hairy chest, ran a straight bar in a small town about 30 miles away.  His profile picture showed his wife and baby son.

A lengthy hookup interview, including questions about our sizes and favorite sexual positions, and an detailed description of exactly what we would do, moment by moment. "Ok, first you walk into the apartment. We sit down and chat for awhile.  I give you a soda.  Then we make out on the couch.  We go into the bedroom...."

He agreed.  I invited him over at 8:00.

I went to the gym, came home, had dinner, cleaned the apartment, and waited.  And waited.  And waited.

No show.

Two no-shows on the same night?  What was I, a leper?

Next, I did the unthinkable.  I put an ad on Craigslist.

If you've never tried Craigslist, don't.  Hustlers, downlow married men, "sissies" who want to wear a dress, guys who are drunk or high,

3. Austin

Slim, smooth, helmet-hair, dorky expression, said he was 18.  I said I would have to card him when he got here.

He agreed.  "I'll be there in five, ten minutes."

Five, ten minutes, fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes came and went.  No Austin.

4. Bob Jones.  That's what the Craigslist email said, but you can put in any name you want into the system, and some guys use pseudonyms.

He gave me only his stats: 36 years old, 6'3, 250, muscular.  
6'3 and 250 pounds?  I'm 6'1 and only 210.  He must be a bodybuilder, I thought.

And Sunday night is depressing anyway, and I was stinging from three no-shows in a row, so I said "Ok" and emailed him the directions with no other interview questions.

Don't try this at home.

The full story, with nude photos and explicit sexual content, is on Tales of West Hollywood.

May 1, 2017

Beefcake and Bulges in Old Swedish Photographs

The Du Gamla website uploads photographs of people who lived in Sweden from the 1850s and 1950s.  Some local celebrities, like Olympic athletes, but mostly regular people with no particular claims to fame.

It's a fascinating compendium of people who were once solid, who ate and drank and planned for the future, who desired and were desired by men or women, or both, and now are long forgotten.

Like Allan Buhne, 1911.  Obviously a wrestler.

I have found no other record of him on the internet except for this, from the records of the Hammarby Idrottsförening (Sports Club) in Stockholm: Allan Buhne came 4th in SM. He worked for almost all his life in Hammarby Wrestling.

It's obvious that he had the same singlet problem that wrestlers have today.

Frithiof Martensson (1888-1956) was a middle weight contender in the wrestling contest at the 1908 Olympics.  Later he became a dental hygienist.

August Bylen, 1871-1954, was a metalsmith and farmer. And, apparently, packing.

Ruben Johansson, 1899 to 1918.  Very cute guy.  He died at age 19, maybe during the worldwide influenza epidemic.

Ragnar Larsson, 1901-1984, a wrestler at the 1924 Olympics.

More after the break.

Swordsmen and Sorcerers of the 1980s

For over a century, people have been rejecting naturalistic literature to write heroic fantasy.  In Britain, mostly  about unlikely heroes who travel through magic-laden Medieval landscapes to fight ultimate evil (e.g., The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings). In America, mostly about heavily-muscled barbarians who travel through magic-laden ancient worlds to settle personal vendettas (e.g., Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, Conan the Barbarian).  

Neither type had much luck in the movies, maybe because of the need for special effects.  Or the difficulty in presenting an entire world without lengthy, boring exposition ("The kingdoms of Caldarand and Bobinur have been at war for centuries....)  Or the distinct preference for naturalism in movie-going audiences.

During the 1960s, I can think of only The Magic Sword (1962).

During the 1970s, Wizards (1977), and a terrible animated version of The Lord of the Rings (1978).

Then Arnold Schwarzenegger tore up the scenery as Conan the Barbarian (1982) and Conan the Destroyer (1984), and suddenly every bodybuilder who could read a script was being squeezed into a loincloth and given a magic sword to wield:
Clash of the Titans (1981)
Beastmaster (1982)
The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Ator (1982)
Krull (1983)
Hercules (1983)
Deathstalker (1983)
The Blade Master (1984)
Ladyhawk (1985)
Iron Warrior (1986)
Masters of the Universe (1987)
The Barbarians (1987)...well, you get the idea.

The plots were simple 1980s man-mountain plots, with an evil wizard instead of a drug lord, and a weirdly-named Medieval world instead of Southeast Asia.

And they had a similar appeal for gay kids and teenagers.

1. Endless quantities of beefcake. Muscle men, slim sidekicks, and little kids in loincloths or naked.  Unfortunately, also endless quantities of cheesecake, including lots of female breasts.  Bare. There's always a female warrior who fights semi-nude.

2. The buddy-bonding is strong and powerful, more emotionally compelling than the requisite romance with The Girl.  In Deathstalker, the Deathstalker (Richard Hill) is patently in love with Oghris (Richard Brooker).  In The Barbarians, Kutchek and Gore (Peter and David Paul) never fall in love with anyone (else).

  In Beastmaster, Dar (Marc Singer) forms an alternative family unit with Seth (John Amos) and young prince Tal (Josh Milrad).

3. There are usually kids around for the kids in the audience to identify with.  We see the barbarian hero's early childhood tragedies, to give them a personal motive for adult vendettas.

4. There is usually no fade-out kiss.  The Barbarian is a creature of the wilderness.  He saves civilization but does not reside there, so at the end of the movie, he usually moves on.

By 1995, the fad had run its course, along with the cinematic interest in man-mountains, as beefcake fashions returned to the trim and athletic.

See also: Man-Mountains of the 1980s

Apr 30, 2017

Beefcake and Bulges in Recent Swim Team Photos

Ready for another assorted set of pecs, abs, biceps and bulges from the swim teams of yesteryear?  This time we'll go from the 1960s to the present.

Kelly High School, Chicago, 1967.  Some of these kids look a little young for high school, but there's a nice basket in the eyeglassed guy second row right.

University of Southern California men's swim team, 1976.  I was in high school at the time, but I don't remember all the porn stachs.

Cleveland State University, 1984.  Less than ten years later, all the porn staches have vanished, but the skimpy, bulge-displaying swimsuits have been retained.

Burnesville High School, 1985.  Some gym-toned physiques, but all of the bulges are hidden.

More after the break.

A High School Boy Gives Me His Underwear

Fort Wayne, Indiana, December 1969

When I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, we visited my parents' home town in northeastern Indiana about twice a year, at Christmastime and during the summer.  My favorite part of the visit was when Grandma Davis announced "Let's go on a trip to Fort Wayne,"

The biggest, brightest, most exciting city in the world.

It was unimaginably huge, bigger than Rock Island, Moline, and Davenport put together, and it had the most fascinating places I had ever seen.  There was always something new: a gigantic County Courthouse; a candy factory much nicer than that scary one in the Willy Wonka movie; a Children's Zoo with its own train; an art museum; the history museum at Old City Hall; Kern's Toy Store; a memorial to Johnny Appleseed.

Somehow Grandma Davis always knew where there were a lot of cute boys:  playing basketball in schoolyards, crowded into booths at the soda shop, competing in athletic events, running around in groups at street fairs.  She let us play with them while she sat on a bench, reading a magazine.

We usually stopped for lunch at the Famous Coney Island on Main Street: hot dogs with chili, cheese, and onions, and steamed buns.   Plus french fries, onion rings, and root beer floats (vanilla ice cream floating in a gigantic mug of root beer).

And a never-ending supply of cute high school boys in white shirts, black pants, and black bow ties who brought out your orders.

On a cold day just before Christmas in 1969, when I was in fourth grade, we were having lunch at the Coney Island, and my brother and I were rough-housing, stealing fries off each other's plates, shoving each other, and laughing.  Grandma Davis told us to settle down, so I stopped and picked up my root beer float.

Then Kenny shoved me again.  I dropped the heavy mug onto my chest, drenching my shirt with root beer.  More root beer splashed onto my pants, and the clump of melting ice cream fell right onto my lap.

Gross!  Cold and wet!  I pushed it onto the floor.

"It looks like you peed your pants," Kenny said.

"Oh, no, you're soaked!" Grandma Davis exclaimed.  She grabbed some napkins and tried to dab me, but the root beer and ice cream had already soaked in.  "You can't ride all the way back to Garrett like this -- it's freezing out!"

The full story, with nude photos, is on Tales of West Hollywood.